Author Archive

Glassdoor’s 25 Worst Rated Employers…

March 9th, 2010

…even in this economy.

fine print: Ratings are based on a 20-question survey that evaluate eight key workplace factors including: Senior Leadership, Communication, Employee Morale, Career Opportunities, Work/Life Balance, Compensation and Benefits, Recognition and Feedback, and Fairness and Respect.  For reporting simplicity, a company’s rating on the Glassdoor website and this list is limited to one decimal space although the actual calculations extend infinitely to determine final rank order.

Read the full story here.

Tags: question survey, leadership communication, employee morale, rank order, work life balance, workplace factors, compensation and benefits
  • Share/Bookmark

Be Sure to Think Twice Before Passing Up These Job Opportunities…

March 8th, 2010

. sandiego.craigslist.org, yesterday:

research robbery information

Looking for 3 people to research information on stolen goods. lots of field work.
Required: car, cell phone with camera & email ability. Common sense is a major requirement.
good memory needed, clean cut, dressed well.
Pay is $12/hour with gas allowance.

Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.

  • Please, no phone calls about this job!
  • Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests

And, also posted on sandiego.craigslist.org:  for those post grads who are independently wealthy and looking for a 30 – 40 hour a week unpaid job (or for those college junior/seniors able to take a year off college and do the same).

But – if  <Mister X’>s first business was so successful, why is he not offering even a stipend for this full time assistant role?

Position: Entrepreneur’s Intern

Qualifications:   <Mister X>  is looking for an aspiring Entrepreneur who would like to learn how to start their own business from an experienced &amp; successful entrepreneur. Ideal applicants include recent college or graduate school graduates looking for valuable first-hand education that cannot be attained in the classroom; also which have obtained a degree in business, marketing, communication, or similar. College juniors or seniors looking for real-life experience and education and majoring in the same may also apply.

Job Description:
You will assist in all aspects of starting a new company.
• Analysis of business potential opportunities
• Writing business plans
• Writing and executing marketing plans
• Ability to attend industry seminars
• And much more!

Benefits to You:
• Learn from an experienced and successful entrepreneur
• See what it really takes to start your own business from start to through launch
• Networking possibilities
• Gain the knowledge needed to implement into your own business
• Consulting for your very own business
• One day per week dedicated solely to your own business (optional)

Company Profile: Tyler Jensen recently sold his first business (city specific recreational sports website) and is in the process of launching 2-3 new businesses in a variety of industries. He is looking for someone to help him with this process. Are you this person?

Hours: MINIMUM of 30- 40 hrs/wk, minimum 3 month commitment, 6-12 preferred

Salary: unpaid or college credit

If interested in applying please email your resume and ideal start and end date.

  • Location: Solana Beach/Del Mar
  • Compensation: unpaid or college credit
  • This is an internship job
  • Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
  • Please, no phone calls about this job!
  • Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Tags: experience and education, mister x, industry seminars, successful entrepreneur, networking possibilities, college juniors

  • Share/Bookmark

Make Mine a MacBook … x 20

March 6th, 2010

Justin Long may have retired from Apple ad campaigns,  but at least several others want to claim his old role of Mac advocate:

Acrobatic thieves hit N.J. Best Buy avoiding cameras, motion sensors, alarms in daring heist
By Ryan Hutchins/For The Star-Ledger

March 04, 2010, 4:42PM

SOUTH BRUNSWICK — They never touched the floor — that would have set off an alarm.
They didn’t appear on store security cameras. They cut a hole in the roof and came in at a spot where the cameras were obscured by advertising banners.

And they left with some $26,000 in laptop computers, departing the same way they came in — down a 3-inch gas pipe that runs from the roof to the ground outside the store.

Police believe that’s how some brazen bandits managed to swipe 20 Apple notebooks early this morning at a Best Buy on Route 1 in South Brunswick without detection.

“High level of sophistication,” said Detective James Ryan, a police department spokesman. “They never set off any motion sensors. They never touched the floor. They rappelled in and rappelled out.”

Employees discovered the missing laptops, as well as a gaping hole in the ceiling, when they arrived to work around 6:30 this morning.

The thieves left boot prints on the gas pipe, which runs up the side of the building in Monmouth Junction, Ryan said.

On top of the building, they used a saw to cut through several inches of rubber and insulation, then sliced a 3-foot-wide square in the metal roof, he said.

Once inside, the burglars dropped 16 feet to 10-foot-tall racks — avoiding contact with the floor, where motion sensors would have set off an alarm. They snatched the notebooks from the racks, then went back out through the roof.

The effort was daring and unusual, said John Harris, an expert in security who has consulted on thousands of burglaries.

Read the full story here.

Related content:

A Netflix Stream in Hand…

… would be a killer app – and in more ways than one; streaming more than one movie would easily eat up most people’s iPhone minutes package on AT&amp;T without making *any* calls… Today, from TechCrunch, via Hacking Netflix: Rumor: Netflix Streaming Coming To The iPhone by MG Siegler on August 3, 2009 One big story …

And One More Thing…

Steven Jobs, cofounder of Apple, has been labeled many things, from visionary to egomaniac. Often I think he is inspirational too: We’re here to put a dent in the universe. Otherwise why else even be here? Innovation is the distinction between a leader and a follower. The system is that there is no system. That doesn’t …

Customer Experience, Part II

A t-shirt popular within the Apple Computer team building v.1 of Quicktime read “Apple: 80 hours a week, and loving it!” So much for work  | life balance. At the same time, I think Steve Jobs gets a lot of things right – including not making decisions for the short term without …

Desperately Seeking 6Sigma.

While not an avid gamer myself, I still think massively multiplayer online role-playing games will continue to help shape pop-culture and our society as a whole – if one of the main manufacturers of game box hardware can improve their hardware failure rate and overall customer experience. A local body shop’s …

Don’t Ignore Price Points OR Intent.

Nokia recently announced this list price for  its upcoming Booklet 3G netbook – which will be a hefty $820. Apparently Nokia has missed the point consumers (and businesses) want netbooks to provide a smaller AND lower-cost alternative to the laptop.   For *less* than that price, I can buy a brand …

Ego, Redux

If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you. – Friedrich Nietzsche No men are oftener wrong than those that can least bear to be so. – Francois de La Rochefoucauld There is a demand in these days for men who can make wrong appear right. – …

For Whom The Bell Tolls… or, Another Business Model for $0.00

From Techcrunch, last week: At first this announcement appeared to be a good candidate for “News of the Weird:” Microsoft Officially Retires Soapbox, The Poor Man’s YouTube by Leena Rao on July 21, 2009 Microsoft’s YouTube clone Soapbox is officially shutting its doors, according to reports today. Soapbox, which was launched in 2006 as a hub for downloading …

Tags: monmouth junction, apple notebooks, boot prints, motion sensors, mac advocate
  • Share/Bookmark

Cherry Blossoms

February 28th, 2010

Spring is early this year in Seattle, and one of the cherry trees in my front yard is already in full bloom:

Tags: seattle, full bloom, bloom, cherry trees, year, front yard, cherry blossoms
  • Share/Bookmark

Imagine the Excitement and Satisfaction…

February 26th, 2010

Unhappy job applicants/candidates share their unhappiness with their friends, coworkers, and on often, all over the  internet.

Smart companies understand at any point in time, a job candidate is a past, current, or future customer; and similarly, a past, current, or future customer can at any time become a candidate.  So – smart companies invest a lot of time, money, and effort to create a strong well regarded employment brand/marketing effort to attract qualified candidates, and also to build their overall market brand and customer base.

One large software employer, located in the greater Seattle area stated in their 2009 US SEC 10-k filing  stated:

“As of June 30, 2009, we employed approximately 93,000 people on a full-time basis; 56,000 in the United States and 37,000 internationally. Of the total, 36,000 were in product research and development, 26,000 in sales and marketing, 17,000 in product support and consulting services, 5,000 in manufacturing and distribution, and 9,000 in general and administration. Our success is highly dependent on our ability to attract and retain qualified employees. None of our employees are subject to collective bargaining agreements.”

The company’s employment branding pitch to candidates for full time employee roles  is:

You have unique experiences, skills and passions—and we believe you can bring them all <here> for a rich, rewarding career and lifestyle that will surprise you with its breadth and potential. Just imagine the excitement and satisfaction of what you can do, where you can go, and the difference you can make with the resources of <companyx> behind you.

In addition to the 93,000 full time employees the company had as of June 2009, each  year the company also employs  an estimated 62,000 contract/contingent staff via 3rd party vendor firms, for roles the company has deems “non-essential.”

While the company limits each contingent employment contract to 12 months or less, the company’s third party staffing vendors  advertise an insatiable demand for contract software design engineers; software design engineer in test; and also  marketing, content, IT, and other operations roles, many of which require various combinations of  industry experience, training, graduate degrees, and/or professional certification.

Approximately one year ago, the company’s procurement office became responsible for the company’s contingent staffing and aggressively commoditized the process of  hiring contingent workers, including high skilled professionals, for roles which often require extensive experience; graduate degrees;  specialized industry certifications; and/or a combination of the above.  Also commoditized was the pay rate range for each position.

The end result is  one contract opportunity is often posted by ten different contracting agencies, none of whom offer the contingent employee any real employer paid benefits (i.e., paid or even subsidized health insurance, paid time off, etc.)

So – imagine the excitement and satisfaction of what you can do, where you can go, and the difference you can make with the resources of <companyx> behind you if hired for one of the jobs posted this morning by one of the company’s third party contingent staffing vendors:

Seeking Experienced Project Coordinators w/5-7 experience

Location:Redmond, WA
Employment Type:9+ Month Contract
Wage:$15.00 – $17.00 hourly

Description:
Large, well-known software company on the eastside is looking for qualified and experienced Project Coordinators. Please email resumes to the email above and our recruiters will contact you to set up an interview should your qualifications meet what we are looking for.

Managing and maintaining busy calendar
Coordinating planning, execution and review meetings with hosting local events
Gathering and managing reports
Coordinating the monthly reporting and processes (including producing show &amp; tell coverage presentations)
Updating content in the Infrastructure components
Help with support as required
Being the key go-to person for team members looking for existing materials and responses.
Supporting the development of new team efficiency systems and processes such as new briefing book and coverage report template

5-7 years business administrative experience, preferably in a high tech industry and in a team-oriented environment.
Excellent written and verbal communication skills.
Experience in managing projects with team members
Microsoft Office proficiency (especially Outlook, Word, Excel, and PowerPoint) and SharePoint proficiency.
Must have ability to work independently while maintaining accountability with multiple stakeholders.
Organized, action-oriented team player and flexible learner able to multi-task.

Don’t have 5-7 years of  business administrative experience including experience in managing projects with team members, but you do have a university degree, plus the ability to get at least a 9 month hardship deferment from repaying your no doubt hefty student loans?

Seeking Tech Savvy Administrative Assistants

Location:Redmond, WA
Employment Type:9+ Month Contract
Wage:$11.00 – $13.50 hourly

Description:
If youre looking for a great way to start off your administrative career then you are in the right place. We are currently seeking qualified Assistants for a large software organization located in the Eastisde Area.

Assistant
We are looking for an Administrative Assistant to provide coordination, heavy calendaring, scheduling, and handling travel arrangements.

ESSENTIAL DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES Other duties may be assigned.

Provides administrative and organizational support in a fast paced environment, particularly in support of special projects, which may include but is not limited to:
Mail delivery, shipping and building deliveries.
Fill office requests and maintain an appropriate inventory of supplies.
Maintaining heavy calendaring and scheduling.
Compile and develop records, charts and reports using knowledge in computer office applications (MS Office Suite, SharePointe, Outlook, Visio, spreadsheet, publishing and word-processing).

BA preferred, however, open to High School diploma or equivalent experience plus 3-4 years of demonstrated successful work-related experience in administrative support.
Excellent communication skills.

However – if you have both the skills and 4 – 6 of prior executive assistant experience, plus an interest to support one of their execs already fairly high up the executive ranks, this might be the opportunity for you:

Challenging Career Executive Assistant Position

Location:Redmond, WA
Employment Type:9+ Month Contract
Wage:$17.00 – $20.00 hourly

Description:
Challenging career position for an Executive Assistant in a prestigious, well-known Software company on the eastside.

Job Description:
Performs a variety of complex administrative functions for all levels of management including external business partners.
Manages schedule(s), coordinates travel arrangements and processes business expenses.
Coordinates meetings and events, department financial operations, personnel operations, and facility operations.
Manages procurement of goods and services including computer equipment, office supplies, reference materials, and vendor relationships.
Provides general office support.
Serves as the department/group contact.
Completes special projects as assigned.

Qualifications:

4 to 6 years demonstrated work experience in a fast-paced, senior management level administrative capacity.
Ability to interact in a professional manner with all levels of management; demonstrated ability to change direction in response to changing work situations.
Must be proactive, able to deal with ambiguity, self prioritize work resources, and juggle multiple tasks in a manner transparent to the team.
Must have the ability to work independently to achieve results with a high degree of accuracy.
Ability to work successfully in a team environment and build effective working relationships inside and outside of the group that involve contact at all levels of management.
Able to work collaboratively with other internal and external administrative and CS assistants within the team and across the company.
Ability to be entrusted with the knowledge and handling of confidential information.
Should be detail oriented and extremely organized.
Extensive knowledge of and proficiency with Microsoft Office including Outlook, Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Visio, and would be preferred.
BS preferred.

If the contractor receives $20/hour gross, even with the 3rd party agency vendor markup the cost to the company would still approximately be less than $65,000/year, which is below market base pay for a full time, direct hire for that role, and does not include valuable employee benefits such as company subsidized health insurance; paid vaction and sick days; paid federal holidays, etc.

Smart companies understand at any point in time, a job candidate is a past, current, or future customer; and similarly, a past, current, or future customer can at any time become a candidate.

Smart companies also understand how expensive it is to rebuild a tarnished brand, and to rebuild a customer base after losing unhappy customers either due to personal experience, bad word of mouth, or given the above pay rates, a lack of disposable income.

We can believe that we know where the world should go. But unless we’re in touch with our customers, our model of the world can diverge from reality. There’s no substitute for innovation, of course, but innovation is no substitute for being in touch, either.  - Steve Ballmer

Tags: seattle area, job candidate, product research, contingent employment, employment branding, greater seattle, collective bargaining agreements, smart companies, contingent staff

  • Share/Bookmark

Walmart vs. Netflix…?

February 23rd, 2010

On Monday Wal-Mart announced it agreed to buy online streaming video service Vudu, which allows customers to select online from 16,000’s licensed films, then view movies instantly on their TVs.

“Combining Vudu’s unique digital technology and service with Walmart’s retail expertise and scale will provide customers with unprecedented access to home entertainment options as they migrate to a digital environment,” Eduardo Castro-Wright, vice chairman of Wal-Mart (WMT,Fortune 500), said in a statement.

Vudu is developing hundreds of Internet applications and services that will allow viewers to stream movies to their TVs and Blu-ray disc players, and the video service has already partnered with Internet and media companies such as Facebook, Twitter and the Associated Press, Wal-Mart said.

“The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.” – Oscar Wilde

Tags: vudu, retail expertise, blu ray disc players, netflix, wal mart wmt
  • Share/Bookmark

Quote of the Week

February 20th, 2010

From “Bones,” Season 1, Episode 18, “The Man with the Bone”:

“Greed is the real curse.”

Tags: episode 18, curse, greed, bones, season 1, quote of the week
  • Share/Bookmark

Help Wanted: 64 Desired Competencies, or More…?

February 11th, 2010

A well known grocery chain recently posted a job for “Marketing and Community Relations Specialist,” a store level associate job, in a metro area where it has 7 grocery stores.

Brand-wise, and employer brand-wise, this sounds like it could be a really good job opportunity; although the level of detail in the posted job description – which includes 64 (!) “Desired Competencies:”

1. Creative Development.
2. General industry education geared toward the creative maximization of resources and their application to Whole Foods Market standards.
3. Facilitates creative problem solving.
4. Develops unique ideas.
5. Effective brainstorming facilitation.
6. Collaborates well with Store Artist and Regional Marketing Team for outstanding results.
7. Leverages regional and national programs; avoids creating separate messaging Team Dynamics.
8. General business/team dynamics and relationships to business operations.
9. Identifies roles and responsibilities of marketing team.
10. Effective process and job/task management.
11. Ensures effective use of resources, equipment and distribution of marketing materials.
12. Ensures Sighmakers, Salud! Supervisor and Team Members are communicating and supporting all marketing events and store needs Marketing Plan Development.
13. Standard marketing plan development knowledge and application to Whole Foods Market strategic needs.
14. Understands how to facilitate, organize and communicate objectives, strategies, and tactics.
15. Establishes cohesion among national, regional, and store marketing objectives.
16. Establishes effective store marketing objectives.
17. Effectively uses, plans, and communicates store marketing budget Relationship-Building and Networking.
18. Makes effective use of time in and out of the store.
19. Evolves and broadens outreach to community partners.
20. Establishes expectations for reciprocal support.
21. Effectively communicates business needs to external partners.
22. Asks the right questions to leverage and match partner needs.
23. Positions company in external circles for maximum benefit.
24. Effectively builds relationships in the stores with team members and guests for networking purposes and garner of support for marketing events.
25. Captures detailed information from all stakeholders for optimum results.
26. Seeks and obtains help from available resources when necessary.
27. Uses effective project management skills and processes.
28. Establishes, communicates, and manages from a well-designed plan.
29. Responds to crises nimbly and resourcefully Communication Skills.
30. Proactive and effective communication with store, national, and regional leadership.
31. Builds effective relationships with Team Leaders, Coordinators, and staff.
32. Demonstrates effective email and phone etiquette and protocol.
33. Writes clearly and concisely in a variety of communication styles and settings.
34. Can get messages across that have the desired effect.
35. Trains Team Members to effectively articulate the message.
36. Effective in a variety of formal presentation settings.
37. Effective both inside and outside the organization.
38. Commands attention and can manage group process during a presentation.
39. Can change tactics midstream when something isn’t working.
40. Practices attentive and active listening.
41. Has the patience to hear people out.
42. Can accurately restate the opinions of others even when she/he disagrees.
43. Professional in communication and presentation skills works autonomously
44. Knows how to keep busy and work with minimal direction.
45. Usually performs up to standard independently.
46. Takes minimal support from supervisors and other sources.
47. Needs minimal unplanned guidance and help.
48. Independent, self-starting, demonstrates initiative.
49. Is action oriented and full of energy for things she/he sees as challenging.
50. Not fearful of acting with minimum planning when necessary.
51. Seizes opportunities Physical Work Environment Flexibility.
52. Comfortable in a busy, often chaotic retail environment.
53. Comfortable with limited and changing/mobile workspace.
54. Comfortable sharing workspace with others when necessary.
55. Demonstrates agility in an ever-changing work environment.
56. Comfortable with physical set up of events inside and outside of store Supervisory Style Flexibility.
57. Creates a climate in which people want to do their best.
58. Can motivate many kinds of people and team or project members.
59. Can assess each persons unique motivational needs lead them accordingly.
60. Adept with a Situational Leadership style and approach.
61. Empowers others.
62. Invites input from others and shares ownership and visibility.
63. Makes each individual feel her/his work is important.
64. Does not need to be the expert but needs to be the support in an ability to listen, troubleshoot Team Member problems, and implement solutions to Team Member work issues.

Don’t get me wrong – I think it is admirable for an employer to have thought through to that level each and every desired competency for any employee role – but having done that, I do wonder what they could possibly have forgotten to then include in the job posting:

12. This job description is intended to describe the general requirements for the performance of this job. It is not a complete statement of duties, responsibilities or requirements. Other duties not listed here may be assigned as necessary to ensure the proper operations of the team.

:)

Related content:

I Want to Meet the Person Hired for This Job.

Yes, we’re in a recession – but even so – I can’t imagine any really strong C++ developer with a Bachelor’s Degree in CS or Engineering from any non-diploma mill would ever consider this job or contracting agency’s “benefits:” Company:           Populus Group LLC Job Location:     …

Help Wanted: Zookeeper with a Good Attitude.

Most job postings are dry.  Really dry.  And – they usually include “must haves” which require skills and/or experience with everything but being able to both plumb AND re-enamel a kitchen sink.  As one hiring manager/Art Director I spoke with last week said – if any candidate ever met his team’s expectations, there …

The Job Posting I Wish I’d Written…. or, We’re All Mad Here, Part 2

There’s a truly brilliant job posting which is making the rounds on some of the developer email lists here in Seattle. I’d love to meet the programmer who wrote this job posting – it’s engaging while still full disclosure; I can already visualize the blog entries about meeting the client and actually interviewing …

Scapegoat Wanted, Part II

Several weeks ago I blogged about some of the more… interesting… employment opportunities making the rounds within Seattle. Not surprisingly, at least one of them is still open…  or, should I say, RE-OPENED. Two friends were contacted right around the time of my original post, but by two different agencies trying to …

Scapegoat Wanted.

Truth in advertising, especially employment adversiting,  is rare enough that I think it should always be rewarded; and yet despite today’s still too weak  economy, there are several jobs in the Seattle area which aren’t getting any takers: Program Manager Non Tech Position – Level 3 SharePoint, PowerPoint, MS Project and Excel Skills A …

Wanted: Agile Waterfall Process Oriented Free Agent Software Coding Cowboy

This laundry list job posting just landed in my inbox, only missing a notation the correct candidate for this one must also be extremely fluent in both Farsi and Mandarin – NO EXCEPTIONS :) Job Announcement: Technical Product Manager Company  : Title    : Technical Product Manager Location : Redmond Job Type : Both Date     : …

Yet Another “Unique” Job Opportunities for Those in the Market …

This one was posted to a Project Management group on linkedin.com; and while it may be legal to specify the candidate’s gender in India for this type of role, it definitely does not meet US employment law standards, or most people’s standards for good taste ;-): Life Sciences Graduates Hyderabad India …

Ego, Redux

If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you. – Friedrich Nietzsche No men are oftener wrong than those that can least bear to be so. – Francois de La Rochefoucauld There is a demand in these days for men who can make wrong appear right. – …

Tags: store marketing, whole foods market, marketing plan development, messaging team, reciprocal support, community relations specialist
  • Share/Bookmark

Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose…

February 1st, 2010

“Every man has three characters – that which he exhibits, that which he has, and that which he thinks he has.” – Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr (1808 – 1890)

“The more things change, the more they are the same.” – Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr (1808 – 1890)

“Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns. I am thankful that thorns have roses.” – Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr (1808 – 1890)

“We can invent only with memory.” – Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr (1808 – 1890)

“Uncertainty is the worst of all evils until the moment when reality makes us regret uncertainty.” – Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr (1808 – 1890)

And, three not by Karr:

The more things change, the more they remain… insane.”  - Michael Fry and T. Lewis, Over the Hedge, 05-09-04

“The squeaking wheel doesn’t always get the grease. Sometimes it gets replaced.” – Vic Gold
“The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterwards.” – Arthur Koestler (1905 – 1983)
Tags: memory, uncertainty, jean baptiste, alphonse karr, roses have thorns, evils, thorns have roses
  • Share/Bookmark

Running Back and Forth Forever Between Grief and High Delight

January 28th, 2010

The author J.D. Salinger died today. These are some of my favorite quotes from his books, and by him:

“I hope to hell that when I do die somebody has the sense to just dump me in the river or something. Anything except sticking me in a goddam cemetary. People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday, and all that crap. Who wants flowers when you’re dead? Nobody.”

- J.D. Salinger (1919 – 2010), The Catcher in the Rye

I’m sick of just liking people. I wish to God I could meet somebody I could respect.

– J.D. Salinger (1919 – 2010), The Catcher in the Rye

I’m not going to bed after all. Somebody around here hath murdered sleep. Good for him.

– J.D.Salinger (1919 – 2010), Seymour:An Introduction

I can’t be running back and forth forever between grief and high delight.

– J. D. Salinger (1919 – 2010)

I’m sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody.

– J. D. Salinger (1919 – 2010), Franny and Zooey Pg. 30

The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.

– J.D. Salinger (1919 – 2010), The Catcher in the Rye

I hope to hell that when I do die somebody has the sense to just dump me in the river or something. Anything except sticking me in a goddam cemetary. People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday, and all that crap. Who wants flowers when you’re dead? Nobody.

– J.D. Salinger (1919 – 2010), The Catcher in the Rye

“I’m sick of just liking people. I wish to God I could meet somebody I could respect.

- J.D. Salinger (1919 – 2010), The Catcher in the Rye

I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.

- J.D. Salinger (1919 – 2010), The Catcher in the Rye

I’m not going to bed after all. Somebody around here hath murdered sleep. Good for him.

- J.D.Salinger (1919 – 2010), Seymour:An Introduction

I can’t be running back and forth forever between grief and high delight.

- J. D. Salinger (1919 – 2010)

I’m sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody.

J. D. Salinger (1919 – 2010), Franny and Zooey Pg. 30

The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.

- J.D. Salinger (1919 – 2010), The Catcher in the Rye

The most singular difference between happiness and joy is that happiness is a solid and joy a liquid.”

– J.D. Salinger (Nine Stories)

Tags: j d salinger, bunch of flowers, franny and zooey, catcher in the rye, paranoiac, immature man
  • Share/Bookmark